10 Things You Never Hear in Church

10 Things You Never Hear in Church:

1. Hey! It's my turn to sit in the front pew!
2. I was so enthralled, I never noticed your sermon went 10 minutes over time.
3. Personally I find witnessing much more enjoyable than golf.
4. I've decided to give our church the $500 a month I used to send to TV evangelists.
5. I volunteer to be the permanent teacher for the Junior High Sunday School class.
6. Nothing inspires me and strengthens my commitment like our annual stewardship campaign!
7. I love when we sing new hymns!
8. Forget the denominational minimum salary. Let's pay our pastor so he can live as we do.
9. Since we're all here, let's start the service early.
10. Pastor, we'd like to send you to this seminar in the Bahamas.